Carry on away day...
Started out funny, ended up slightly scary:
Running down the street, late for the office "away day". There'd been a last minute change of venue so I turned up at the wrong place to find a map pinned to the door...
Finally I got to the right building. Inside everyone was in fancy dress - some were dolled up as doctors and nurses, others were highway men and many staff wore French Revolution style attire (one of my managers was in full Louis the seventeenth regalia - long white wig, flowery cuffs etc).
Turned out it was meant to be a "Carry on" Film theme. Someone asked what I'd come as. My excuse was along the lines of "I'm an obscure character from one of the early black & white films".
Next thing I remember everyone was split into teams. I didn't know anyone in my team, but they all seemed to know each other. A big "Lucky Dip" bag was passed round and we all had to pull out a mystery object and then spontaneously utter an innuendo-laced witticism about it (at which point everyone would clap and laugh).
Not only did I fail to exactly grasp the rules or overall aim of the game, but only one item was left when it came to my turn - a bag of Italian flour. At a complete lost as to how to inject the flour with either humour or innuendo I resorted to blurting out a string of Kenneth Graham style "Ooooooh's" interjected with offensive expletives! I found this hilarious but no one clapped or laughed, so I kept repeating it...thinking they just hadn't got it.
I was led on to a platform with two people from other teams. We were about to face the Booby Prize for losing, or in my case botching, the Lucky Dip game. The punishment was meant to be a pantomime-style spanking administered with a huge spongy "Mallet's Mallet" style club.
The first recipient was led to the front of the platform and suddenly the atmosphere darkened. A Pirate with an eye-patch, acting as the master of ceremonies, started menacingly waving about some sort of cat-o-nine-tails device and the crowd started to let out blood-thirsty jeers. The realization dawned that this was not going to be some light-hearted mock punishment - Instead we were facing a harsh, sharia-law style public flogging!
Remember muttering "It's just like Lawrence of Arabia" . They began to flog the first loser, I eyed the exits, thinking "Must make a dash for it!"
Luckily, was saved by the beep of my alarm...
N.B. Got on the tube this morning to find that, sitting opposite, was a man with an eye patch! Spooky.
Running down the street, late for the office "away day". There'd been a last minute change of venue so I turned up at the wrong place to find a map pinned to the door...
Finally I got to the right building. Inside everyone was in fancy dress - some were dolled up as doctors and nurses, others were highway men and many staff wore French Revolution style attire (one of my managers was in full Louis the seventeenth regalia - long white wig, flowery cuffs etc).
Turned out it was meant to be a "Carry on" Film theme. Someone asked what I'd come as. My excuse was along the lines of "I'm an obscure character from one of the early black & white films".
Next thing I remember everyone was split into teams. I didn't know anyone in my team, but they all seemed to know each other. A big "Lucky Dip" bag was passed round and we all had to pull out a mystery object and then spontaneously utter an innuendo-laced witticism about it (at which point everyone would clap and laugh).
Not only did I fail to exactly grasp the rules or overall aim of the game, but only one item was left when it came to my turn - a bag of Italian flour. At a complete lost as to how to inject the flour with either humour or innuendo I resorted to blurting out a string of Kenneth Graham style "Ooooooh's" interjected with offensive expletives! I found this hilarious but no one clapped or laughed, so I kept repeating it...thinking they just hadn't got it.
I was led on to a platform with two people from other teams. We were about to face the Booby Prize for losing, or in my case botching, the Lucky Dip game. The punishment was meant to be a pantomime-style spanking administered with a huge spongy "Mallet's Mallet" style club.
The first recipient was led to the front of the platform and suddenly the atmosphere darkened. A Pirate with an eye-patch, acting as the master of ceremonies, started menacingly waving about some sort of cat-o-nine-tails device and the crowd started to let out blood-thirsty jeers. The realization dawned that this was not going to be some light-hearted mock punishment - Instead we were facing a harsh, sharia-law style public flogging!
Remember muttering "It's just like Lawrence of Arabia" . They began to flog the first loser, I eyed the exits, thinking "Must make a dash for it!"
Luckily, was saved by the beep of my alarm...
N.B. Got on the tube this morning to find that, sitting opposite, was a man with an eye patch! Spooky.
posted by The Dreamer | 2:49 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home